Hi there everyone!
So, I'm sorry that this post is later than I would have liked, but I went away last weekend and my grandparents arrived from New Zealand and then last week was pretty jam-packed due to it being the last week of school and work and my sister was graduating (from primary school) and then a bunch of relatives arrived on Saturday (also from New Zealand) and it's been a little full on. And so while I'm disappointed about me falling behind a little on my schedule I think it's been justified (unlike some of my absences).
Anyway, all this talk leads me onto the subject of this post - tips to survive the mad rush of the holidays and relatives and family stuff.
While it can be great to have family around, especially over the Christmas and holiday period and especially if you don't get to see them very often but it can certainly become very stressful, very quickly. To be frank, I am really quite glad I only have to go through this every couple of years or so due to the fact that we live in a different country to the rest of the family. But here are my suggestions to help ensure the smoothest, bestest, least-stressful family occasion you can. I think most of them are pretty common sense, but I think it's good to be reminded of them every once in a while!
Avoid Controversial Topics
As boring as it may be to stick to boring, safe topics, please remember that they are safe for a reason. Talk about uni, talk about school, talk about work, talk about the weather, stick to the safe topics. Don't talk about things like whether banning women from wearing burqas in public in Australia is a good idea or not. Equally, if you have elderly or rather conservative relatives, maybe staying away from topics like tattoos and body piercings would also be a good idea. You know, just from personal experience.
Don't Forget Your Me-Time
To be honest, I think this is probably the most important advice there is. Because things will get busy, you will be expected to do more than you usually would, tempers will get short, and people will be feeling a little frayed. Don't be pressured into doing ridiculous amounts of work just because other people aren't doing anything and don't let people guilt/pressure you into doing things because they know you will help out. You need some time to yourself. Granted, it might not be exactly what you want to do, or for as long as you want to and it might not be as satisfying as it usually is, but you need to take time out all the same. Even if you can't do your usual relaxing, me-time activity, you need to find a substitute. For me, I like to write and draft a lot of posts for this blog, as well as work on it's design and scroll through my dash on tumblr to unwind. Unfortunately, my grandparents have issues with young people and technology and being on my computer for any length of time would start them huffing and puffing and it's not worth it. Instead, I have been listening to large amounts of music (in my room with the door shut, rather than with headphones as they also dislike those) and doing a lot of drawing. Well, I use the term drawing loosely. I can't really draw, so it ends up being a lot of doodles and weird geometric shapes but it does the trick, mostly. But find your me-time and make it a priority.
Don't Forget Your Meds
If you are going to be going out during the evening or having people at your place and you take your meds in the evening - make sure you do take them. Set a reminder in your phone to remind you for when you get home, or just excuse yourself to take them when you need to. If you know you're going to run out over the break, maybe buying your next packet now would be a good idea, so you don't have to worry later.
Get Brownie Points When You Can
No one is going to be on their best behaviour all of the time. I know that and I also know I will get to the point where I cannot look happy any more and I need to lie down and hide away from the world for a while. And that's when you need to have enough saved up brownie points for people not to get mad at you when you do that. In my mind, I have a rough little points system. Every time I do good and helpful things, I get points and when I do less than helpful things, I deduct points. It's a bit petty and weird, but it works for me. I do things like setting the table or running errands? I get points. I do extra good things like trimming back the grass trees so you don't get attacked on the way to the washing line? I get more points. But if I have an argument or appear irritable and silly? I lose points. If I have to take some me-time and be a bit withdrawn for a while? I lose more points. For me it helps because in my mind, I can justify taking time out for me or skipping out on a family meal to see friends because I have enough points saved up in my Brownie Bank that even with those points lost, I'm still going to be above zero, or at least very close to it.
Take Shifts
Yes, that does make it sound like work, but yes, sometimes it is essentially work. You have to put on your good face and seem happy and helpful and no one can keep that up 24/7. Talk to your mum, your dad, your sisters and your brothers. Work it out. Organise it so that when you know you are going to be reaching your limit, they is someone else to keep up the good face of the family. Don't all try and take your me-time at the same time - in my personal opinion it results in very grumpy grandparents.
By now, you probably think I hate my family, which I don't - it's just that they are very full on and my mother's stress levels hit the roof and when that happens, it's not fun to be around the Williams house. But I hope that this post helped you or at least gave you a giggle and an insight to my life and I'll see you all soon.
So, I'm sorry that this post is later than I would have liked, but I went away last weekend and my grandparents arrived from New Zealand and then last week was pretty jam-packed due to it being the last week of school and work and my sister was graduating (from primary school) and then a bunch of relatives arrived on Saturday (also from New Zealand) and it's been a little full on. And so while I'm disappointed about me falling behind a little on my schedule I think it's been justified (unlike some of my absences).
Anyway, all this talk leads me onto the subject of this post - tips to survive the mad rush of the holidays and relatives and family stuff.
Avoid Controversial Topics
As boring as it may be to stick to boring, safe topics, please remember that they are safe for a reason. Talk about uni, talk about school, talk about work, talk about the weather, stick to the safe topics. Don't talk about things like whether banning women from wearing burqas in public in Australia is a good idea or not. Equally, if you have elderly or rather conservative relatives, maybe staying away from topics like tattoos and body piercings would also be a good idea. You know, just from personal experience.
Source |
To be honest, I think this is probably the most important advice there is. Because things will get busy, you will be expected to do more than you usually would, tempers will get short, and people will be feeling a little frayed. Don't be pressured into doing ridiculous amounts of work just because other people aren't doing anything and don't let people guilt/pressure you into doing things because they know you will help out. You need some time to yourself. Granted, it might not be exactly what you want to do, or for as long as you want to and it might not be as satisfying as it usually is, but you need to take time out all the same. Even if you can't do your usual relaxing, me-time activity, you need to find a substitute. For me, I like to write and draft a lot of posts for this blog, as well as work on it's design and scroll through my dash on tumblr to unwind. Unfortunately, my grandparents have issues with young people and technology and being on my computer for any length of time would start them huffing and puffing and it's not worth it. Instead, I have been listening to large amounts of music (in my room with the door shut, rather than with headphones as they also dislike those) and doing a lot of drawing. Well, I use the term drawing loosely. I can't really draw, so it ends up being a lot of doodles and weird geometric shapes but it does the trick, mostly. But find your me-time and make it a priority.
Don't Forget Your Meds
If you are going to be going out during the evening or having people at your place and you take your meds in the evening - make sure you do take them. Set a reminder in your phone to remind you for when you get home, or just excuse yourself to take them when you need to. If you know you're going to run out over the break, maybe buying your next packet now would be a good idea, so you don't have to worry later.
Source |
No one is going to be on their best behaviour all of the time. I know that and I also know I will get to the point where I cannot look happy any more and I need to lie down and hide away from the world for a while. And that's when you need to have enough saved up brownie points for people not to get mad at you when you do that. In my mind, I have a rough little points system. Every time I do good and helpful things, I get points and when I do less than helpful things, I deduct points. It's a bit petty and weird, but it works for me. I do things like setting the table or running errands? I get points. I do extra good things like trimming back the grass trees so you don't get attacked on the way to the washing line? I get more points. But if I have an argument or appear irritable and silly? I lose points. If I have to take some me-time and be a bit withdrawn for a while? I lose more points. For me it helps because in my mind, I can justify taking time out for me or skipping out on a family meal to see friends because I have enough points saved up in my Brownie Bank that even with those points lost, I'm still going to be above zero, or at least very close to it.
Take Shifts
Yes, that does make it sound like work, but yes, sometimes it is essentially work. You have to put on your good face and seem happy and helpful and no one can keep that up 24/7. Talk to your mum, your dad, your sisters and your brothers. Work it out. Organise it so that when you know you are going to be reaching your limit, they is someone else to keep up the good face of the family. Don't all try and take your me-time at the same time - in my personal opinion it results in very grumpy grandparents.
By now, you probably think I hate my family, which I don't - it's just that they are very full on and my mother's stress levels hit the roof and when that happens, it's not fun to be around the Williams house. But I hope that this post helped you or at least gave you a giggle and an insight to my life and I'll see you all soon.
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