Fake It 'Til You Make It?

Long time no see - right?

Sorry about the long absence, I had exams and I was tired and to be honest, I just couldn't be bothered to do any blogging or posting. But I am back now. :)

This post took a while for me to write and a longer time for me to decide to post it. It might not seem like a big deal to some, but for me, this is a big deal. Body image is hard for me and it's hard for me to write about these fears and my insecurities. Also, I just don't want people thinking that I'm stupid for worrying over something as simple and as trivial as a photo... But, I decided to bite the bullet and go for it, as one of my aims when I created this blog was to be honest and to be truthful. Not only to you, to to myself as well. So, here goes...

As you probably know, I am a big advocator for natural beauty. I believe that everyone should be able to see their barefaced, natural beauty and appreciate themselves for the gorgeous people they are. To be able to look at their naked, natural face and body and say ‘yep, you look pretty good. I’m quite happy with you.’

Equally, I am not opposed to people that wear make-up. Make-up can accentuate great features, cover up not so great ones and give a whole new look to someone. Make-up is essential for some people. It helps them to really be themselves, it can be a coping method or just a way to make someone feel better about themselves. Make-up can be used as a barrier, a way of protecting yourself from the world when you’re not feeling so hot.

Source unknown

I’ve only just started wearing make-up and it took me a long time to give myself permission to wear it. Which sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. I had been brought up being told that make-up was for dumb sluts (okay those words weren’t the ones used, but you get the idea) and for people that hated themselves and felt they had to cover themselves up. Now that is bullshit and I can recognise that now. But it took me a long time to do so.

Photoshop and other photo-editing software is another thing. I know that when used right, it can really add to a photo and make you look even more beautiful than you already are. However, my problem is that it can lead to false impressions. To people that haven’t seen someone, seeing an edited photo of them that’s been enhanced to perfection can be off-putting. It’s as if they are feeding into the media’s view that women must be perfect, groomed and really beautiful. And realistically, that isn’t achievable for everyone on an everyday basis.

Source here

And, the combination of make-up and photo-editing can lead to a grossly exaggerated impression of someone. While being truly beautiful, is it really them?

And yet, naturally we all want to look our best, especially if we are going to be on display, or captured forever in time – like a photograph.

And this is where my dilemma comes in. As I’m sure is quite noticeable, my blog is definitely picture-less. Or at least, devoid of pictures of a part of my body other than my hands. Namely, my face. At first I avoided this because my self-esteem was at an all time low and I hated my face. I hated body and I hated myself. I was so terrified of somebody seeing it here and subsequently being so repulsed they left my blog all together and never came back. However, with me being a lot more accepting of my body – mostly due to the fact that I am no longer trying to wage war against it and the fact that I don’t look like I’m about to drop dead any minute – the topic of a photo on this blog began circulating around my head again.

I’d like to give this blog a face. I’d like to let people know what I look like. Mostly because I like to know what people look like when I’m reading their stuff. It makes them 10 times more real. However, I’ve never really liked photos of myself and the idea of placing a photo up here for the world to see is pretty daunting. In fact, it’s damn well scary. Which is where my make-up and Photoshop comes in. I look much better in photos with some make-up on and after it has been Photoshopped. Obviously not a huge amount of editing - just enough to make the lighting more favourable, to cover up my few spots and to make my eyes just that little bit brighter. So, not a huge change, but enough to make a 'meh' picture into a 'yeah!' picture.

And to be honest, if I’m going to put a photo of myself up here, I damn well want to make sure it looks good.

However, is it really me? I don’t wear make-up on an everyday basis and honestly, no really looks like their Photoshopped counterpart. I don’t want people to look at my picture and think ‘Scam... That’s been edited. I bet she doesn't look a thing like that. That’s not real’ and then leave and never come back. I don't want people to think I'm not real. Because I want to be. One of the reasons I started this blog was so that I would have a place where I could just be honest and just be myself. And I want to keep that.

Will people think that? I don’t know.

So basically, to photo or not to photo? To make-up or not to make-up? And the most pressing question; to Photoshop or not to Photoshop?

What do you guys think? What should I do?